i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Randomize
