Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
