I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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