Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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