awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
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