Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
