my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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