I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
