and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
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