Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
