There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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