You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Randomize
