Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize