Don't you send me to vm
shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
should my penis look like a turkey
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
