I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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