I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
You've changed since you got that strap on
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
