Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
