I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
i barfeds in our rink
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
either way he was missing a nipple.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
