I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
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