After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
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