just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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