Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize