I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
