What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
