You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
areolas are like halos for boobs.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Randomize
