Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize