Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
