No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
