i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
