guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
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