so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
