Pappa wants mamma naked
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
