Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Randomize