I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
