They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Randomize
