the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
