Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
