It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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