I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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