Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
In America we eat man semen.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Randomize
