Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Randomize
