I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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