It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I could have mohawked her pubes.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
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