I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Randomize
