my mouth tastes like poor choices
I CAN MOONWALK!
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
Randomize