who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Randomize
