is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
