think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
