we have officially lost it.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Be still, my beating vagina.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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