wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Randomize
