it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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