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You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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