she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
