Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
