where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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