hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize