Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Randomize
