he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
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