i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Randomize
