My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Randomize
