Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Randomize
