come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
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