i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Randomize
