i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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