Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
